Now that my life is pretty much as simple as it can be, its time to be creative in new ways. I want to create things just because I want to. Here I go. I’m going to make short videos on how to do things. This is a good place to start – tangling.
Basic Tangle – YOU CAN DO IT!
The above steps are where I started, but I found it so relaxing that I wanted to create more and more. One day I wanted to take it further and that’s how I came to tangle a honey bee.
My bee has stories within it. Can you find them?
In the next video, I will take you from your first tangle to a story-tangle, like my honey bee. While you wait, please search for something you want to create. You’ll need to make an outline that only has the barest details. In the honey bee, I outlined the two wings, the basic body shape, the legs and the antennae. See what subject you can outline in prep for the next how-to video.
I’m a story teller. Memory keeper. I’m Ren on Paper. Words. Images. I’ve experienced so much life. Good and bad. It would serve no purpose to talk about the bads. I will, however, talk about the goods.
I got to fly a T37 jet once. Went on survival training in the Everglades. Flew in helicopters a couple times. Went scuba diving and zip lining in Japan. Took a glass blowing class there. Spent three months in Hawaii and had my breath taken away by the beaches, mountains, birds, fish, and flowers. Made award winning videos. Wrote a movie script for my community once. Directed a small theater group for a few years. Built two log homes and learned how to use just about every power tool ever made. Been on the underside of the Golden Gate Bridge. Experienced such great kindness shown to me that it made me weep and feel so very humble. Had three beautiful, amazing children who turned into beautiful, amazing adults, moms and dads themselves. I lived in a fifth wheel RV for over two years and never went anywhere in it. I’ve spent years living and traveling in an Airstream, Winnebago motor home, and now a travel trailer. I know what the Grand Canyon looks like at sunrise, sunset, and from the bottom looking up.
Two years ago this week, something happened to me that caused me to put creativity aside and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. It feels as though I lost my voice. Art and writing have been my voice since I was ten years old.
This was my very first painting. I was twelve or thirteen years old
The stories and drawings helped me cope with long years of difficulty and built in me a strong resilience. This week, in celebration of overcoming all that has come before, I claim my life and my voice. Its a mere whisper, but I’m confident that, if I’m diligent, that whisper will become a full song, verse, or masterpiece. I can’t wait to see what form it takes!
Ren On Paper began as a place only for myself. A place to think out loud. However, if you have found your way here, I hope you have found something that might make you return from time to time. Perhaps a sentence will strike a chord with you. Maybe some little sketch will make you smile. I don’t know. I’m just glad you’re here. Thank you.
The last house I owned was a log home; large with a wonderful studio, where I spent a good portion of my day. In that room, I edited film, did photography, read, painted, taught art, hosted Bible Study groups, framed finished art projects, watched movies, and spent a lot of time entertaining friends and family. The cabin was also a bed and breakfast. Many of the guests gravitated to my studio, where I often invited them join me at the long table and handed them some paper and colored pencils or art pens. “Lets do art”, I’d say. The room was comfortable and occupants immediately felt at ease. While learning some little art task, they would tell me about their dreams in life. I loved being there. I loved the people who visited. I was comforted by the place.
Now I’m a grey nomad. I didn’t decide to do that on a whim, although, once the decision was made, it was put into action quickly. A lot of thought, over many months, went into my decision. Thought and research. I talked about all that in previous posts.
When you get a good idea, it just sort of refuses to leave. Especially if it’s a great idea.
Here I am now, two and a half months into my adventure; my idea turned into a little home for myself.
Right now I, my little home, and Sophia are visiting friends in Ohio. This is our first trek and I admit I was a wee bit anxious at first. Okay. Maybe for the entire drive. Would I be able to find a gas station I’d fit into with my rig? How long would it take? Did I miss a turn, because it felt like nothing was familiar? Oh, look. I recognize that. No missed turn. Would I be able to back into the driveway at my destination, in the dark? But here, at last, we are.
Sophia
I’ll spend a week here, heading back to Pennsylvania Saturday. From then until early November, life will become a comfortable routine of campground life. I have a summer job in the office at the Yogi Bear’s Jellystone Campground in Quarryville, Pennsylvania. Yogi is a large, busy place with lots of amenities and guests. At one time or another every single guest passes through the office. The RV is parked at another campground nearby. Both locations are nestled in the woods, surrounded by Amish farms and roadways are shared with horse drawn carriages.
The comforts of RV life? I’m comforted by this small environment. My art/computer desk faces a large window that looks out on summer scenes serenaded by a plethora of birds. My art table itself is a comfort to me. It’s made from a table I bought from a second hand shop. The legs were discarded when it was put in here, but it fits perfectly.
Lately I feel ready to change the way I do art. In this limited space its more practical to work on small projects, using perhaps colored pencils, pastels, and watercolor. What I’ll do with the little projects, I have no idea. Art has been my voice, a way of communicating my heart to the world around me. The message has changed and it isn’t clear what new messages I’d want to paint. The bigger question – do I have anything to say that anyone would want to hear?
In the meantime, here I am. Cooking meals for myself in my little corner kitchen.
Spending time in my corner art studio
and gazing out the window at whatever scene is there at the moment
Comfort is a process; a niche to find and settle into. The sentimental, comforting things I keep must be settled on, keeping in mind the weight they add vs the joy they bring.
In the kitchen my mom’s recipe box sits next to the a favorite basket, on the counter by the window.
My rolling cart of favorite things
My library
My photo gallery
So there you have it. No matter where you live, you can be comforted by the little things in life.
I recall, as a child, having no doubt that I could successfully perform a cartwheel. I didn’t analyze the chances or consider all possible scenarios. Nor did I fret about potential injuries. I just ran and did a cartwheel. When I landed, it took a moment for a tiny dizziness to pass; to get my bearings (oh, I said “bear”-ings). Thinking about it, I’m suddenly flooded with other memories about the cartwheel. I was with other people. Other children. We were all doing cartwheels and laughing. It was summer and the air smelled of fresh cut grass, made even more fragrant by the sunshine. I can almost hear all the birds watching from the branches of the maple tree down by the sidewalk, having a whole twittery kind of conversation about the craziness going on in the yard below. My sense of touch is remembering the feel of the blades of grass and the softness of clover, the dampness of the soil beneath, my sun-warmed hair, and the feel of a drop of sweat trickling down my face.
When I begin, with my mind I see a masterpiece, but with my heart I see a dose of fear. No matter how many pieces of art I create, when it comes right down to it, I’m afraid this time I’ll fail. There have been small pockets of time when I’ve had art in galleries or perhaps in a competition. For the most part, however, I’ve been a quiet artist; keeping it to myself. Art is a language that I’m still learning to speak. I believe in my art and never feel I’ve learned all there is to know about it. Perhaps the reason I haven’t mastered it is because I keep interrupting myself, getting off track, or giving up because its too hard. I want it badly so I can never turn away from it for very long.
Because I never create two identical pieces of art, each one is ground breaking. Each one is yet another learning experience. If my reason for creating it isn’t firmly set, I’ll never complete the piece. I won’t have the discipline to set out on the journey of creating something out of nothing, of sticking with it even when I doubt myself or the message I’m trying to express.
I sit down, take up my tools and begin to sketch something out. A portrait needs to resemble the subject and capture their essence; their character. The sketch itself needs to lay down the bones of the project. Filling them in won’t lead to a very good likeness if those lines weren’t laid down just so in the first place. Each and every project I do is a very first time to do that particular project. I can’t look up how I did it last time. There is no last time. Maybe this, I tell myself, will be the one I don’t get right. Maybe it will be the one that makes me give up.
I’m currently reading a book called Bird By Bird – Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott. She says pretty much the same thing about writing. In a writing project, we bring with us high expectations and aspirations. We give up when we see its going to be harder or take more time than we ever dreamed. Her book, so far, is about how to keep going…and why.
Colored Pencil – who would have guessed it could tell the story so well?
I’ve done a few colored pencil pieces over the years, but each one stretches my ability. The first few were for a children’s book, but the author lost interest, so the book was put aside. I did those first pieces on a paper called “mi tiente’s”, made by Canson. Working on black paper means a whole new way of working with colored pencil.
To get fine detail, you have to keep your pencil as sharp as it can possibly be. The tip needs to get down into those pits of the paper. Paper might look smooth, but it has tiny pockets that are just big enough for a very sharp pencil point. A microscopic view of anything at all reveals miniscule pockets and textures on pretty much everything in the world. Even marble under a microscope has craters in it’s surface.
Small light-pressured circles
I work in very small circles with my pencil, keeping the pressure as light as I can. My dad taught me to do that when I was a child. If you use back and forth lines the overlap of the pencil will show.
The square on the left was done with quick strokes, though with consistent pressure. You can see where each section overlaps the previous one. You can see where the colored pencil didn’t go with quick side to side strokes with a light touch.
The middle square was done with more pressure, a frequently sharpened pencil, but still back and forth strokes. The overlaps are still visible, but perhaps not as much. The holes of texture are there, but the increased pressure of the pencil filled some of them in. You applied so much pressure that it will be more difficult to add more layers, such as a different color. These pencils are wax based. The more layers you apply, the harder you press, the shinier the surface and then future layers will just not stick. Your pencil will slide across this shiny surface like a skater on ice.
Keeping a sharp point using one of these
The third example on the paper is a small circle. I wanted to move on, so only did enough to make my point. I sharpened the pencil to a needle sharp point. I held the pencil as upright as I could so the point would go into the pits in the paper. I then made very tiny circles with a light and even pressure. It filled more of the pits, is consistent looking, and there are no overlapping lines. I am in complete control. The added benefit is that its so light that I can add several more layers before reaching a stopping point. Don’t lose heart. There are ways to get around not being able to add more pigment.
Sketch the piece and then begin adding a base layer
For this project I started with an overall light layering of color. Next I’ll begin to work in other color areas, smoothing them together. In the piece above, I started with an almost white pencil, which was the lightest color in her face. I got impatient and began adding warm colors where they were needed. It didn’t ruin the piece, but I realized the lightest color was too light, making her look ghost-like.
If you look very closely at a colored pencil drawing, you can see the little pockets. The black line down the right side is the edge of another piece of black paper. It protects the project from the oils that are naturally in my skin. I can rest my hand on the extra piece of paper..
The lumpy spots you see in the image are tiny bits of the waxy material the pencil is made of. When you step away from the image, it appears all is well and its lovely. Shining a bright light on the work emphasizes the shininess and it will appear like a whole different work.
Fixatives, Knives, Erasers, and Pencil Sharpeners to Keep the Project Moving
You can spray a workable fixative that allows you to add more layers to the project.
Following the directions on the can, I was able to continue working on the Blue Crab.
I’ve learned to use the very tip of the blade to gently scrape at tiny sections. It removes the waxy buildup of the pencil. You must only do this in small areas. If you’re not careful, you can ruin the paper AND the project.
Another thing I do from is to use a small eraser pencil to remove a small area of pigment. After that I can usually rework that area to my liking. I use the eraser on the right for larger areas.
Oh no! Am I losing control of the project?
As I work, adding colors and getting my values correct, I take chances. A choice might look horrible, even gruesome. Sometimes I erase the risky color. However, I find that if I step away from the piece, I may feel differently about it later on. I might take a nap (I love naps!), a break to run an errand or do something entirely different. When I return, I see it with fresh eyes. There may be obvious things to correct, but some things I hadn’t liked earlier, I now like.
Yet another option is to keep going. Perhaps its the color or one eye could be shaped wrong or too large. Maybe it’s in the wrong place or slanted incorrectly. Maybe the lips are all wrong in the way I rendered them.
Art is about using your eyes to really see the thing you’re trying to work from. If you’re working on the eye and it just doesn’t seem right, you may be doing something I call “prejudice”. You look at the subject and say to yourself, “Oh, I know how to draw an eye, because all eyes alike (not so, but you’re brain is trying to mess with you, get you off the hook). You immediately begin drawing without really looking at the subject. Every eye IS different and the left eye might be slightly different than the right eye. You can’t assume they all look the same. Look. Really look. Look at the slant of the lid, the shadows and highlights, etc. Make the eye THAT person’s eye and not some generic eye. also remember that faces are not usually symmetrical. One ear may be lower than the other or an eye lower or less open. Again, look at the subject. Observe. Learn to really “see”.
Its time to begin trusting
I do spot checks on the dimensions and sizes. Everything seems drawn correctly. I just keep going. I’ve learned that this is where I have to trust…to have faith in the project and in my skills.
This piece is far from over. I wish I could sit and work on it far longer. I grow tired when I work with colored pencil. It takes a lot of concentration. I’m making tiny circles with such light pressure I’m not always sure my pencil is even touching the paper. Covering a small area with that first coat can take several hours. You might begin to wonder why you took on this project. Don’t give up. Projects done using colored pencil will be around for a very long time. Maybe for centuries. They may likely outlast the most famous oil paintings. The surface of a painting will eventually dry as it ages and tiny cracks will appear. Surfaces done in colored pencil do not dry out and crack..
Taking risks and trying what seem like an unlikely color combinations can drain my energy a bit as well. Its as if I’m holding my breath when I experiment with colors. Yet color can add so much life to the subject. I have a large selection of colored pencils are various “flesh” colors. Yet, the shadows in a face or a hand aren’t only those flesh colors. The shadow side of a face can have a bit of violet or blue in it. Colored pencils don’t come in an infinite number of colors. With watercolor, I can simply combine colors to make exactly what I want. Colored pencil doesn’t work that way.
Mending the Sales – Watercolor
Yet look at all the colors I used in the shadows of this painting. I feel it brings life to the work; to those shadows, to the subject.
Why am I using wax-based colored pencils here?
Before choosing what medium to use for these projects, I tested wax based pencils, oil based pencils, and pastel pencils. I thought the oil based pencils would be my choice. They have a softer look and, by dipping the tip into mineral spirits you can blend the pigments. I thought pastel pencils might be good for applying color to large areas. Some of my choices are based on the surface I’m using. If I were using white paper, I could have laid down a layer of watercolor to get my base coat. I’m using a Canson Black Art Board and watercolor as the first layer didn’t seem practical against the black surface.
I admit that I went into this project thinking it would be small and completed quickly. I envisioned it taking eight hours or less to complete. The one project below took eight hours of work. However, that piece ended up being maybe only three inches high and two inches wide. The piece above is 8 x 10.5 inches. Capturing the likeness of two people is different from capturing the likeness of a pet.
Maybe it was just the pressure of meeting my client’s expectations. When they send me a photo to work from, its usually a photo that was taken a while ago. When they see the finished art, they’re thinking of what the person is like right now. The dog below looked basically the same at one year as he did at ten years.
Final stages and different lighting conditions for the photographs
When I took the photographs below, the lighting varied, changing the look of the art noticeably. I’m happy to say that the in-life version far exceeded my expectations. I was proud to sign my name and put it in the mail to my client. I learned a lot from this project and future projects will now include a bit less doubt on my part.
Trust?
The trust comes in where I try a color (perhaps a shadow) or leave out the background. I think its looking like a disaster; that I need to throw it out and start all over again. If I just keep going, taking breaks from it, not giving up, I suddenly find that I’ve crossed a threshold. I’ve gotten to the other side of “NO! This isn’t working!” to “Hey! Its looking really good!” Don’t give up. The beginning is always the hard part. You’re not into the project yet. Keep going. You’ll find yourself owning it and looking forward to continuing. You’ll look forward to more projects using the same techniques you just developed. So please…don’t give up!
A tube of watercolor can last me for years. Even if the tube seems completely dried up or I can’t get the lid off…its still useful. I just cut open the tube and I can dump the chunks of paint onto a spot on my pallet. Dab it with some water and its as good as new. The paints on my pallet stay there for a long time and become hardened. Same thing though. Dab with water and good as new. If you’ve done watercolor, you know this. But if you’re thinking about doing watercolor, this is a pro. Paints are expensive, but they never need to be tossed out.
I’ve made a video about color swatches. When my instructors taught me to make them, I had no idea why I was doing it. Now I know. Watch and see.
Life Application
I honestly can’t come up with one. I do like seeing the papers with the swatches. I suppose I could frame them or have them laying somewhere. They look cheerful. I’ll have to give this some thought.
This is a video I made quite a while ago, but the technique remains the same. Its ten minutes and twenty-three seconds long. I also address how to rinse your brushes and how to clean them.
Life Application
Sometimes I wish I could apply masking fluid to a situation in my life, paint over it, remove the mask, and see that the situation was not as bad as it had first appeared. Frisket/mask does not erase anything. It just keeps a spot from taking on color, taking on change you don’t want. It sort of preserves what is underneath so you have a fresh chance to do what you need to do.
What kinds of things can you do in your life to keep a situation from permanently changing your life? A good night’s sleep? A cup of hot tea? A walk? Talking with a friend? What other things could you do?
The little bear is me. Its me before I turned left when I should have gone right. The one who wrote stories about Barbie and Ken in books I made with folded sheets of notebook paper. I can see myself sitting at the desk in my room; that wonderful desk that could be a playhouse with a blanket thrown over top, a place to escape into writing and drawing. I don’t know how long that desk was there or why it was there, but it changed me for all time and remains a lifeline that links me to that best of who I was. The desk is long gone, though I think that if I search long enough I might find something like it. I have seen one like it on the internet, but it is now worth over a thousand dollars.
When you pull out the drawer, it has a lid; a writing surface. It can be folded up away, revealing a storage area underneath. Somehow, I believed that what was stored in that compartment under the writing surface was hidden from everyone. A secret place. I’m sure it wasn’t, but I believed it; wanted it to be. On the rear side of that writing surface were slots for pencils to lay and a round hole for an ink well. Can you imagine. It was like a magical desk. To me, the desk was huge.
So!
The bears are the me that was, but she’s coming back to life. In my journey to create myself anew, I’m not discarding all that I was. I’m keeping the best parts. The bear parts, I guess. Some parts of me are still a child, filled with wonder, dreams, and much hope.
I am Ren. Pleased to meet you.
Potato Picker 1 – watercolor on Bainbridge Alpharag Board
I came across this painting tonight. Its in my leather portfolio case. It was framed and hung on my studio wall in a previous location. It hung there for years and years. The frame was a metal frame, the color of her apron. During all the many moves in my life, the frame got scratched. It was a custom size and would be expensive to replace. It wasn’t in inches. It was in centimeters. When we were stationed in Germany, I found the photo of two women, potato pickers, from right there in my village. I wrote to the photographer and got his permission to paint from the photo. I decided I would put each of the two women in their own painting.
The painting above is, by far, my favorite. I can’t part with it. It isn’t just a painting. Its an experience. The board I painted it on had a thin coat of something (sizing, I imagine) on it that caused the pigment to lay on the surface and dry, looking rich and alive. It was an experiment and something told me it would be amazing. I took photos of each step of the way. Painting it was almost a sensual experience. The brush laid the paint down as if it couldn’t help it; as if compelled to create a masterpiece. I’d say it was even as if the painting was already done and the board and brush and paint knew what it was to become and they performed a symphony of color, shadow, and light. Every brush stroke went down as if it was already there and the brush was just painting water over it to bring it to life. I’ve never experienced anything like it again. It was my only piece of board like that. I don’t know if its even made anymore.
mi teintes paper
I say all this because I have found an art board made by mi teintes. I have used papers by the same company. The example is one I did on a gray mi teintes paper. When I went to the store to purchase some black art board, I saw the white art board that is made to take watercolor. I’m excited to try it. One piece was approximately $6 and when the cashier handled it, I was so afraid she’d get oils from her fingers on it. She didn’t realize the significance of that. Do you?
I long to try it out. Not yet, however. I have three commissions to finish before Christmas. If I were to sit down and just get them done, it wouldn’t take long. They happen to be quite difficult. Three pieces, each containing numerous people. The pressure is on. I find myself working for a few minutes on the faces and needing to leap up from my chair and pace. I suddenly feel the urge to wash dishes or sweep the floor. Anything. I long to do anything at all, except work on that face.
Something to look forward to
When the three commissions are completed, I’ll get out the white watercolor board and see what I can come up with. Maybe by then I’ll have some idea what the subject needs to be. Is it like a carving, where the whole process is just releasing the thing trapped within the wood? Or like the painting of the the woman picking potatoes? I don’t know.
I found the photograph of this woman in an out-of-print book while living in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I wrote to the publisher, asking for permission to do a painting of the woman and received a letter from the photographer giving me permission to use any of his work I’d like. He closed his letter with “Keep your powder dry”. I looked that up and it means, as a photographer in the past, it was important that the powder used for a flash to be totally dry. Otherwise it wouldn’t make its flash.
Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
This particular photograph was taken of a woman in the small town of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. Maybe you’ve heard of a game show called Truth or Consequences. Quite a long while ago, the game show folks put out an offer to pay a town to change their name to Truth or Consequences.
Applying Masking Fluid / Frisket
I did this painting later on. The photograph in the book was an old-looking black and white image. I did a draft painting, making the woman’s scarf look rather like a wet on wet mish-mosh of blues and purples. Hated it! For my second attempt I found a piece of cloth in my sewing box of fabrics. I decided to pretend it was her scarf. I imagined her son giving her the beautiful scarf as a gift and decided right then to call it The Gift. The cloth has so many little flowers and curly stems that it was going to be a challenge. I remembered that I had some masking fluid (frisket). I drew out the flowers and stems lightly with a hard pencil and then dipped a toothpick into the masking fluid and drew over the faint lines again with this fluid. I did a nice bluish watercolor wash over the whole scarf. I had also drawn the hairs with the toothpick dipped in frisket.
Removing the masking fluid / frisket
Once the watercolor was dry, I gently rubbed the frisket with my index finger, lifting it off the paper. I didn’t want to damage the paper. Sometimes if you leave the frisket on too long before doing the paint, it will be impossible to lift off without taking some of the paper with it. This time I removed it right away and it came off easily. As I removed the first bits, I used those to rub on the frisket still on the paper to lift it off. Using a fine tipped brush, I added the colors of the pattern on the cloth.
The first piece I’d done of the woman was actually far more work. The pencil work needed to be done in tiny little circles so that there would be no tall-tale signs that it was shaded with pencil. The upside of pencil is that it can be erased. The downside of using watercolor is that it can’t.
Finishing Touches
When the woman was fully rendered, I did a quick wet on dry wash for the background to set off the white of her beautiful blouse. For the final touches, I used a toothbrush, dipping it into some Burnt Sienna, to stipple across the white background of the painting. I laid some torn pieces of paper over the white blouse to protect it from getting splatters from the stippling. Next, I held the brush in my left hand, pointed towards the painting. I raked a toothpick across the bristles gently to see how much splatter it would create. Where it was sparse, I added more.
What do you think the gift would be?
Once the painting was finished, I decided that the scarf wasn’t the gift. The woman’s smile was the gift…in my mind. I named the work The Gift, but intended for the viewer to decide what the gift was.
