Was my life in this camper like a ship in a bottle? A camper in a bottle. Something you put on a shelf and look at and wish you could actually be in there, on that…ship…camper, wandering the world, having grand adventures. It feels like I’m looking in at what’s in the bottle, but not actually in there myself.
I wanted what was in there to take my breath away and for a long while it was just that. Going around a bend in the road or over a rise took my breath away. At campgrounds I met people with similar dreams and who were living adventures just like me. As in all aspects of our lives, I encountered problems along the way, but overall it was a life I loved.
My wanderlust is satisfied. The goals are checked off, well photographed, written about, and tucked away in my heart. I wouldn’t have done it any different. The adventure has left my heart full and my blessings far more than I can count. It’s time to be still.
As I age, like an onion, new layers encircle me and become what the world sees. Layer by layer, it happens. The me that I started out to be is that little core deep in the center. It’s that delicate and vulnerable pearl, like the very center of the onion. All those layers take on the job of protecting the little pearl. The little girl. I will always be her. All the things that the world throws at me and in my path try to distract me, preventing my footfalls from landing where I want them to. Or perhaps those “things” save me from landing my footfalls where I want them to land.
Along the way I encounter someone I see in a YouTube video, or a painting perhaps. I’ve been watching a series of videos called “Reflections of Life”. They inspire and teach me life lessons, giving me pause. I remember where I meant to go. What I started out to do. It’s as though they are able to see through all the layers, bringing me all the way back to that original pearl I started out as. I feel changed by it and a light shines on the path before me.
There are moments in life that are so sweet, you want to memorize them. Hold on to them. Get them out and look at them once in a while to bring them back to you, if only in a fragrant memory.
I can never get enough of such times. I want to hold onto them, not forgetting a moment or a word. Sure enough, it begins to fade and I want to call it back and say “tell me…tell me again”.
It’s been a great summer! As a member of the Workamper program, I’m currently assigned at a campground in Northern California. Having previously traveled with my RV up the west coast, I’m familiar with the summer weather, which runs in the low 50’s at night and mid 60’s during the day.
My feet are upon a path that leads me along as though it were cleared just for me.
Periodically I ask myself “What will I take with me?” Another question is “What will I leave behind?”
Next month my time here comes to an end. These last days here I’ve got to look through my pantry, art supplies, junk drawers, and the bed of my truck for items I no longer need. It seems easier to ignore surplus items than to make a decision to throw them away. Living in a camper forces me to do that process before moving on. My truck and camper can only hold so much weight and its up to me to uphold that so my travels are safe.
My assignment for the upcoming months is in Arizona. I’m so pleased to have found the position, because winter Workamper assignments in warm locations get grabbed up pretty quickly.
I feel so blessed to have the upcoming position. It’s a rare one, because it’ll be full time. I’ll be provided with a campsite, free of charge, and I’ll also have hourly pay. Better yet, if I’m a good fit for the job, it will be a long term position. A job of my very own. Well, let’s see how it goes. Not only do I have to like the job, but it has to like me.
Sophia and Home
Every day my side-kick, Sophia, reminds me that no matter where we live, when we’re together, we’re home. She’s manages to turn a little camper into a cozy home.
I may not speak, but I’m listening and seeing. I hear all that the people around me are saying. Discussing. I see their laughter and how they can smile and talk at the same time. I hear their words. I see them on their faces and in their hearts and I’m happy for them. I admire how easily words come to them. How quickly. I admire their wit. For me the words and the wit will come when the room is empty or perhaps by morning, too late, for now there’s no one to listen. It’s okay.
The ones who take the time to get to know me will experience them, because they know me and understand. They’ll wait. They’ll check in. They’ll give me their words in their time and I’ll give them mine when I can.
I can’t always speak at the moment I need to, because my brain doesn’t work like that. I drink in moments with all of my senses. If I speak my thoughts, will it add or subtract from this moment? I’m not putting words to those questions. They’re just there, in the background. It’s as if my words, at the moment, are in a language I haven’t yet learned and I’m trying to find them and assemble them before the moment has passed and it’s too late. For me it is often too late.
I am an introvert, but I love people. Crowds and noisy places overwhelm me. If I had some quiet time before hand, I’m okay, because I need people and I have to go out into the world to find them. I need conversation. Not the kind that’s like a stone skipping across a pond, with each skip a new topic. I love conversation that explores and dives in, daring to reveal experienced emotions and revelations.
Even though I’m content with my solitude, I recognize the joy of spending time with another human being. As someone who is slow to speak and slow to judge, still I do speak. I can converse. But I must feel safe and heard. Still, I’m okay with just sitting quietly and listening.
If I’m spending time with you and the words are flowing from me freely, it’s because I trust you. This is something that takes time. Congratulations. You did what few have done.
I need people, but one at a time is best. For me, there is nothing finer. Time with a friend is more precious to me than gold or gems. Such moments are treasures and are tucked away in my heart for a long time. Even introverts can become profoundly lonely.
I’m not an expert on marriage. My own lasted 47 years. If I weren’t a Christian and trying to honor my wedding vows, they wouldn’t have gone on that long. And I might be the worse for wear because I stayed so long. But it doesn’t matter now. Its done. I’m standing where I’m standing.
Through my own perspective I can see that marriages struggle and often end because we have unrealistic expectations of them, of ourselves, and of one another. Somehow we think that once we’ve found the ONE, they will stay the one and we will stay exactly the same and feel the same as we do right now.
However, when we find one another, we are still incomplete works ourselves. No matter how old you are, you are still growing emotionally and intellectually. You’re not a stagnant thing or a still picture. You’re more like a video and the video has approximately 60 frames for every second you watch. That’s a lot of pictures.
Everything that happens to you causes you to flex a bit. To change. It’s like a dance. Or, if you like, a boxing match. You dodge this way and that. Duck. You step to the side or even back up a bit. We also lunge ahead. No matter how hard you contemplate an action, eventually you have to make a decision to either do or not do the thing.
Multiply that times two. You and your mate. Two people dodging, ducking, lunging ahead, side-stepping through the plethora of things that happen in our lives. Some of it stretches you and makes you stronger. Some sends you running into the arms of your mate for consolation and comfort. But you’re never quite the same after things happen. Perhaps its a survival instinct, to vary our behavior so we don’t get caught by surprise again or make the same mistake.
With all that going on, eventually you’re a completely different person than you started out to be. To make it even more complicated, that isn’t the end of the remaking of yourself.
Even if the exact same thing happens to both of you, you will probably react differently. Each event happens to a version of you that has already adjusted and changed, so its never really encountering the exact same you as before.
Are you catching on?
So.
Your marriage or relationship with your mate is always in motion. The dance never ends. Events that occur are aiming themselves at a moving target. Allow yourself to grow and change. Allow your mate to grow and change. It’s a journey rather than a destination. You’ll never really “arrive” at marriage. You get in step with it and hold on tight. Together, two people can do more awesome than one.
When my children were young and I gave them an instruction, I often told them to tell me what I just said. I needed to know that they heard me. So. Tell me what I just said.
Imagine yourself under that sheet, using a flashlight to do whatever your heart desires. Do you feel clever for finding a place of your very own, even if simply underneath a sheet in the middle of the night? What would you do in that secret place? Read a good book? Write in your diary? Its a secret place and its all yours.
My flashlight is really just my favorite lamp. My sheet is actually a small camper and my kitty, Sophia, is here, too. Oh, I almost forgot about Vector. He’s the little robot on the table. Vector and Sophia – best buds, right?
So what am I going to do under the sheet, by flashlight? I’m going to do art. Lots and lots of art. I have two months here under this sheet. Lets see what I can create.
The other part of the next two months is to use social media to get word out to the world about my stickers and other graphics. Can you help me with that? Let people hear what you think of my work. Point people to where they can find it. My Red Bubble shop for now.
Just in case you forgot where my shop is, I’ll put the link on the next line.
There’s a link to my Red Bubble shop in the menu above. I’m not finished. There’s much more to upload there. In fact, it’s going to be an on-going project to create more and more art for my shop.
Next step
After getting my Red Bubble shop operating well is to let people all over know about my work and to put my work on more locations. It’ll take time.
However, this time around I’m letting my art be fun. I need to earn some extra money and getting a minimum wage job somewhere is not my choice, but I know it will take a combination of doing art and having a job somewhere. Until I get to Yuma, looking for a job is not possible. At least it doesn’t seem so.
Having fun with art is so freeing. I think I was a slave to trying to paint things for galleries and sure-sells. So lets wish upon a star, eh?
Sets of stickers are created and ready. I’m looking at digital sales so people can purchase sticker sheets and print them on their own printer with their own choice of paper. I’m also looking at printing them on the Canon Pixma Pro-100, which prints with pigment rather than inks.
I’m thrilled to announce a new adventure. As a passionate journaler, I appreciate being able to tuck things into my journal that I’ve picked up from places I’ve visited, such as post cards, a flower, a business card, or movie tickets. My daughter, also a dedicated and passionate journaler, has opened my eyes to how much fun is added to our journals when we can decorate the pages or the cover with Washi Tape, stickers, or envelopes to hold the bits and pieces of things we find. Therefore I’m taken her challenge to use my art experience to create stickers. Here are some examples.
I love creating these stickers. Who would have believed it could be so much fun. It feels good to have found an art project that I can do in the small space of my travel trailer and that uses things that I have enjoyed creating. I’m crazy about illuminated text. I can’t wait to see them online for sale and in my own journal. Wish me success!
A few years ago, while I still owned Log Cabin Studios, I made a documentary about a sustainable agriculture farmer. Even though I no longer own the company and have retired, I’m very proud of this year long project and of the farmers who owned this amazing heirloom farm.
I’d like to share the trailer for that documentary. The documentary itself was only available on DVDs and the DVDs are gone, but you can watch the trailer and see how someone out there in the big wide world honors the environment and the resources they’ve created on their farm to make a life for themselves that sustains them.
Plus it was a huge project and still brings me joy to see the video. I’m proud to have done the documentary, to have met the people highlighted in it, and to learn so much from them.